FI: The Musical
by Rebel Glow
Summary: The unauthorized Fanfiction Imagination story
1. Programme

Hello, welcome to Rebel's Theater. Today's production of _FI: The Musical_ is brought to you by Fanfiction Imagination, our proud sponser. Our brilliant actors come from all over the globe. South Korea, China, Canada, America, Malaysia, Mexico, Australia, India, England...and _Ohio._ Also, probably other places, but we can't be expected to keep track of everyone. Here's your song listing for this evening.

 **Songs**

Act 1

"The Beginning" - Ray

"Challenges, Challenges" - Ensemble (all forum members)

"The Cinbunzel Cat" - Hazel

"Chess" - Ray and Aim

"Squared" - Ensemble (all forum members)

"Summon Me with a Panda Plushie" - Angel

"LOL and Poetry" - Yew

"Supernatural Life" - Ray, Ensemble (all forum members)

Act 2

"Hello, Hello" - Muffin

"Lots of Alts" - Ray, Angel and Zoey

"An Alt for Everyone" - Ali and N

"Not My Real Name" - Peter

"Some of You Know Me" - Plug

"Marz" - Marz

"Are We Dying?" - Ensemble (all forum members)

Act 3

"We Have Arrived At A Dead Forum" - Rowan and Noah

"No More Challenges" - Ensemble (all forum members)

"Hi" - Drift and Zero

"We're Alive Again (Kinda)" - Ray

"All We Do Is Chat Now" - Ensemble (all forum members)

"What Is Happening?" - Ensemble (all forum members, improv)


	2. The Beginning

The curtain rises. A lone figure is revealed. She is a young girl, standing confidently in the spotlight. A drop of sweat runs down her face; the light is so bright and hot that it causes her to squint and fidget uncomfortably on the stage. "Stop, Lumos!" She hisses up to the Magical Special Effects Box.

Lumos, the one in charge of the lights, manages to hear the girl from across the theater. She quickly pushes a few glowing buttons and the spotlight dims. It's still able to draw the attention of every member of the audience, however, it's not as oppressive as before. The entire audience gasps at the girl's seemingly _supernatural_ ability to control the lights with a few simple words.

"I'm Ray," says the girl, whose name is apparently Ray.

And then she starts to sing. The song seems a bit slow and sad for the first musical number, but the audience is in a tolerant mood...for now. Maybe it's a tragedy.

 _"I wanted to create a forum,_

 _Where challenges and friendship were totally a thing._

 _I needed mods to help me,_

 _And so I sent desperate messages to people._

 _I thought they could be of aid,_

 _And even though I was afraid,_

 _I gathered what can only be described_

 _As a gathering of...people."_

One of the audience members leans over to whisper in their neighbor's ear. "Who wrote this? A seventeen year old?" They stare up at the stage in disbelief as Ray continues to sing.

Their neighbor shrugs, having no knowledge of the musical's origins. "I was forced here at gunpoint," she admits to the dissatisfied viewer.

 _"That was the beginning, the very beginning._

 _It all started with a dream,_

 _A dream of a forum full of people._

 _People who were friends,_

 _And who supported each other in times of need,_

 _Even though they competed in challenges._

 _That was the beginning."_

With that, the song ends. The audience seems to collectively sigh in relief. While Ray hadn't been the best singer, it was the horrible lyrics that really annoyed the audience. The writer had obviously been slacking when they were writing this song.

After the song ends, a few more figures appear on stage. They're crawling on their hands and knees from either side of the stage. All of the figures stare at Ray in amazement. To them, she is a goddess. To her, they're her loyal subjects: the original forum members. There are a lot of them, but a few step forward to speak for the rest.

"Hi, I'm Hazel," says Hazel, a hazel-eyed demon. "I'm your best friend."

"Hi, I'm Musa," says Musa, another soul-stealing demon. "And that's Yew. He's a tree."

"Lol," says Yew, a poetree. However, Yew is more than just a poetree. It's obvious to the audience that he is also a cactus and a ninja.

Suddenly, another figure rushes onto the stage. "Sorry, I missed my cue. You can call me Hilda. That's my name," they say.

Ray stares at Hilda. "Your real name?" She asks the question in what seems like shock.

Hilda nods. "Was I not supposed to...?" There's a moment of silence as Hilda realizes that Ray and Yew are not real names, like, seriously, who names their child something cool like Ray?! "Oh."

"That's ok," Ray says. "Do you guys want to sing a song now?"

The audience groans, but everyone on stage, even those who haven't spoken yet, kind of shrug and just go along with it.


	3. Challenges, Challenges

_"Challenges, challenges,"_ Ray begins to sing. Everyone else chimes in: _"Challenges, challenges."_

 _"We must create,"_ sings Musa.

 _"And participate,"_ adds Hazel.

 _"In challenges, in challenges."_

The song is fast-paced and members of the audience can feel their blood pumping with excitement. Maybe it's not a tragedy, after all.

An audience member leans over to whisper in their neighbor's ear. "Looks like the writer got their shit together."

Their neighbor nods. "You're right," she says, looking up from the screen of her phone. She hasn't really been paying attention.

On the stage, everyone links arms and attempt to start kicking like the Rockettes. It goes about as well as you think it does. The writer didn't have enough money to hire a choreographer. One of the forum members, Selene, almost falls down, off the stage.

"Are you ok?" Ray stops singing to make sure that Selene is ok. Everyone else stops kicking and stares at Ray and Selene.

Selene nods. An expression of confusion crosses the actor's face. "Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is going to judge the challenges?"

"The mods. Duh."

Every forum member gasps as they realize that they need more mods to run the forum. Ray points randomly into the crowd of forum members. "Yew, you wanna be a mod?"

"Lol."

"I'm gonna say that's a yes."

Up inside the Magical Special Effects Box, Lumos is freaking out because no one is following their lines. Literally, everyone is making this up as they go. They might as well have burned the script. They didn't even finish singing "Challenges, Challenges". Which was probably symbolic, but that wasn't the point. The point was that no one was following their lines!

Ray now has a bunch of mods to do her bidding and keep the slaves, er, _commoners_ in check.

The audience is getting bored with all this business stuff. They could care less about appointing mods.

Unfortunately for the audience, this play is about to get really interesting...and yes, it involves sucking cinnamon buns.


	4. The Cinbunzel Cat

The lights go out on stage.

When they come back on, everyone on stage is just hanging out, chatting in groups. Except for Hazel. Hazel is not there.

"Does anyone know where the hell Hazel is?" Someone asks, having noticed that she's gone. All the forum members stop chatting and look around.

Lumos lets out a big sigh of relief because everyone is on script again. But for how long? Before, it hadn't been such a big deal because the actors had at least kept the story moving forward. However, next time, the whole musical might fall apart.

On stage, the whole cast (so far, minus Hazel) says out loud together in a rhyme sort of way: "We don't know where she is. Maybe she's in hell. Might as well stop looking, or we might disappear as well."

Suddenly, Hazel appears in a puff of smoke because why not? All the other actors turn to look toward the center of the stage, where Hazel is standing. She is magnificent, in all her Hazazel glory. Between her lips is a delicious, sweet cinnamon bun. In her careful, clever hands is a cat from the depths of hell. She is the image of demonic perfection.

She begins to sing:

 _"Is this a joke?_

 _I can't believe what I see!_

 _A forum like this,_

 _To care so much about me._

 _I am amazed._

 _So many friends of mine,_

 _Eternally,_

 _Your souls I shall own._

 _Forever._

 _Forgive me, friends!_

 _For I am the owner of the Cinbunzel Caaaaaaaat!"_

Don't ask me how, but she manages to sing that while sucking passionately on a cinnamon bun AND holding a demon cat.

"Now THAT is talent!" One of the audience members whisper-shouts to their neighbor.

When Hazel finishes her song, she sighs. "I know you guys care about me, but...were you really about to stop looking for me?"

Ray steps closer to Hazel with a sympathetic expression on her face.

"It's great that you guys wanted to look for me in the first place (i was just in hell btw lol visitin meh cat). Still, you guys have to promise that you'll never abandon me!"

Ray grabs Hazel's hand and their fingers intertwine. "Hazazel, none of us will ever leave you. We're all here for each other."

Hazel and Ray smile at each other.

The audience 'awwwwww's because Rayzel is cute af.


	5. Chess

The beautiful Rayzel moment is interrupted when one of the FI citizens steps forward.

"Hi," he says. "Yew forced me here."

"Lol," Yew says from somewhere on stage.

Ray glances at the person who just introduced himself. He doesn't seem like an annoying person, but randomly introducing himself like that? Very suspicious. Almost like the playwright got lazy with the dialogue, imagine that.

"Um, you're Aim, right? Wanna play chess?" She asks, because chess is a spectacular way to get to know someone.

He nods. "I'll play," he says, snapping his fingers so a floating chessboard magically appears between them.

Hazel steps back in shock at Aim's magic, leaving Ray and Aim center stage. Everyone, both on stage and in the audience, is watching Ray and Aim as they stare determinedly at each other.

"Who's going first?" Aim asks.

Ray steps bravely up to the chessboard.

"Oh, you are," Aim says, blushing ever so slightly. Ray's confident attitude is intimidating, especially when she starts to sing her moves.

 _"Pawn to e4!"_

Aim doesn't let her have the spotlight for too long. He starts to sing, too.

 _"Pawn to e5!"_

She fires back: _"Knight to f3!"_

And he: _"Knight to c6!"_

Ray grins at him. Little does he know, being a boss at chess is the least of her talents.

 _"Knight to c3!_

 _I am a multi-tasker,_

 _Playing this gaaaaaaame_

 _As I do homework_

 _And watch a shooooooow."_

An audience member turns to their neighbor. "Is it just me, or is she a better singer when she sings with him?"

Their neighbor nods. "Yeah, they compliment each other really well," she says. "Ray and Aim...Raim."

Then, Aim sings:

 _"Knight to f6!_

 _I'm not a multi-tasker,_

 _my head is in the gaaaame._

 _Just this chess game._

 _Can't be distracteeeeeed."_

The pair of chess masters continues to play the game as they sing passionately about the wonders of chess, about the strategy and skill necessary to succeed in chess. Through lyrics, they debate whether wit and cleverness play a role in chess success, or if it's all up to raw talent. They're singing about chess, basically.

Together, they sing:

 _"Maybe it's luck._

 _Maybe it's_

 _All about_

 _Luck._

 _May the odds be_

 _Ever_

 _In your_

 _Favor._

 _Cheeeeeeeeeeess."_

In the end, Ray and Aim are breathing heavily and glaring at each other over the chessboard. It was a dramatic, long, eventful game of chess. After the dust clears, everyone looks down at the board to see the result. Aim has won. Of course, you could have known that right away from the satisfied grin on his face and the look of defeat on Ray's face. "Check-fucking-mate," Aim says, feeling quite superior.

Hazel steps forward and holds Ray's hand. "...Raim?" She says with a sneaky grin.

At first, Ray appears to be disgusted. Then, her expression softens. "I has a thing for guys who can beat me at chess," Ray admits.

The forum is suddenly filled with excited shipping chatter. Ray looks around, unable to hide the annoyance which is obvious from her expression. She's lucky that her and Aim didn't try to kill each other over the game; they're both super competitive. Yet, the citizens of FI continue to talk about the new ship like Ray and Aim weren't just _argue-singing_ at each other over a chessboard. Yes, the competition was exciting, and Ray has a new respect for Aim. But to ship them after that?

This incident is gonna come back to haunt her, and she knows it.


End file.
